Title: Approaching the Asymptote A/N: Many thanks to the wonderful (eagle eye) nova88 for helping me tame my commas and for helping me tie the ending together and to the lovely daera23 for keeping me going and kicking my butt. You guys rock my socks. |
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Vaughn sat at his desk twirling the half dollar casually between his fingers. He was trying hard not to think too much about the topics that kept wanting to run through his mind. Or rather, one topic in particular that kept trying to lay claim to his thoughts. But the truth was, he had become rather obsessive recently, and all he could seem to focus on was the new agent that he was supposed to be handling. To the exclusion of almost everything else. A slight movement from the door of his office caught his attention and broke through his reverie. He jerked his head up towards the door. “Any word from her yet?” Weiss leaned against the doorframe looking at him. Vaughn tried to keep his expression casual as he studied his friends face. “No. I don’t expect to hear anything ‘til she gets back.” Weiss just stared back at him, his expression unreadable. “Your girlfriend’s name is Alice, right?” Vaughn put the coin down in exasperation, his mind finally distracted from its new obsession. “Would you shut up?” he said defensively, trying to judge how his friend had meant the comment. But the truth was that they were getting so good at this game, pretending that nothing had happened, that he could almost believe it. Almost, but not quite. The underlying tension was always there. It just wouldn’t go away. And when Vaughn wasn’t busy obsessing about Sydney Bristow, he was busy obsessing about Eric Weiss. “Hey, I’m just checking to see—” Weiss’ expression lightened up marginally with a small smile, though Vaughn couldn’t tell if it was forced or not. As always, there was no hint or indication if Eric regretted anything that had happened between them. Vaughn forced his own face to lighten up and smile, and continued to play the game. “Get out of my office!” Weiss threw his hands up and smiled at him as he turned to leave. Vaughn’s heart constricted in his chest and he had to tear his eyes away. As always, any interaction with Weiss left him feeling oddly despondent and with the urge to shout out to him to come back. But he knew that Eric would never come back -- at least not in the sense that would stop the pain in his chest. So once again, Vaughn found himself in a whirlwind of confusion and heartbreak. It seemed to be his fate to care about people so strong, that they didn’t need his love. He glanced over at the picture of him and Alice sitting on his desk and, without thinking, he quickly reached over and laid it down so that it wasn’t staring back at him. … Weiss smiled and threw his hands up in the air in surrender. Turning and walking casually out of his friend’s office, he paused at the door and turned back. Vaughn was already lost in his own oblivion once more; looking down at the coin in his hand. Weiss’ lips pressed together in anger and frustration as he turned and headed back to his own office. He wanted to scream and shout at the irony of it all, about the fact that he had been so wrong and yet so right. He wanted to rush back in there and shake Vaughn until he came to senses. He had to fight the urge to just yell at him. What about me? If you wanted somebody strong, why couldn’t it be me? Why does it have to be Sydney Bristow? But of course, he didn’t. He never did. He just continued to walk back to his tiny office, because that was the way things were between them. They had tried to forge their own paths together. It had been a disaster of constant oscillations between highs and lows. Weiss sighed as he reached his desk, flopped down on his chair and leaned forward to hold his head in his hands. At least now they had reached some kind of equilibrium in their friendship. And though the dull pain in his chest seemed to be the price to pay for this stability of theirs, at least the chronic ache was better than the unexpected jabs of agony that had accompanied all the lows of their previous arrangement. Weiss just tried not to think about all the wonderful highs that had accompanied it as well.
Michael sighed as he fidgeted in his seat and rubbed his eyes tiredly. The excited whispers of the other occupants on the bus had woken him up and he could tell that they had arrived. Even though the interior lights of the bus were still off, looking out the window, he couldn’t make out anything more of the surroundings outside, aside from the fact that it looked like they were stopped in a parking lot. The overhead lights snapped on and Michael shielded his eyes. The whispered voices around the bus quickly died down as the bus driver opened the door. A tall, burly man wasted no time in entering the bus and moving into the center aisle, crossing his arms casually across his chest. “Welcome boys and girls, to the Operational Training Facility of the CIA,” the man stated loudly, looking around at each one of them with a face that looked like it could have been chiseled from stone. “Or as most of you may know it the Farm. My name is Agent Tom Elliot and I am the chief instructor for this Operations Course. The next 18 weeks will be grueling and intensive, but if you pass, and I can guarantee that most of you won’t, you will be on your way to starting your careers as operations officers for the United States of America. The Clandestine Service is an elite group within the intelligence community and, as such, we maintain high standards for the people whom we allow in.” The bus sat in perfect silence as the instructor handed a stack of papers to someone in the front row and told them to pass them back. “You will see the schedule of courses and how they are divided up on the page that’s coming around now. When I dismiss you, you will get off the bus, find your kit as it is being unloaded and then follow me to the barracks. Tomorrow morning, we start at 0600 hrs, on the track field.” There were a series of groans from around the bus, which the instructor quickly ground to halt with a piercing glare. “Okay everyone, go outside and grab your bags. The barracks building is on the south side of this parking lot. Males are on the first floor, females on the second. You have each been assigned rooms and you will find your names on the nameplates beside them.” Michael grabbed a sheet from the pile as it passed through, folded it and put it in his pocket as he stood with the rest of his classmates. There were a few moments of mayhem as everyone tried to grab all their personal carry on, while a few people in the back tried desperately to make sure that they got a sheet before the pile got lost in the chaos. Vaughn grabbed his duffle bag and followed the queue of the other students getting off the bus. Outside, there was even more confusion as everyone tried to find their luggage in the dark, but soon enough they were being herded by another instructor towards the barracks. “Okay, males straight on ahead, females upstairs. Go. Go. Go!” yelled the nameless instructor as he opened the door to a small building and let them in. Michael glanced at the nameplates beside the rooms as he passed. It seemed like they had been paired off, two to a room alphabetically. Abrams and Baker… Beck and Chen… He kept following the thinning line in front of him, down the hall. Rodriguez and Strickland… Vaughn and Weiss
“Hi,” he mumbled tiredly, throwing his duffle bag on the empty bed, across from the bed the other man had taken. “I’m Michael Vaughn,” he stuck out his hand. The dark haired man had turned and was smiling good-naturedly. “Eric Weiss,” he replied while shaking his hand. “Nice to meet you. Guess we get to be roomies!” Vaughn laughed as he looked around the small room. “They certainly don’t give us a lot of room though, do they?” Eric laughed as well and then turned back to unpacking. “Well at least they didn’t give us bunk beds. “So, are you new to the CIA?” Vaughn shook his head. “No. I joined three years ago, but I’ve been in the Intelligence Directorate. I was stationed in India for two years and had about enough of that. I applied for a transfer to Operations, so here I am. How about you?” “Just joined.” Weiss smiled easily as he talked. “I got tired of working in marketing.” They chatted casually as they unpacked and made their beds from the pile of linen that had been left on the corner of each desk. They rapidly discovered that they were both from LA, but Eric deduced that likely everyone in this course was from the west coast. It made sense to train people together who were going to be working in the same area. “Six AM is going to come awfully quick tomorrow morning,” Eric remarked grabbing his toiletries bag and a small towel. Vaughn nodded and groaned as he checked his watch. If they went to bed right now, they would still only get five hours of sleep. Grabbing his toothbrush, he followed his new roommate as they went in search of the washroom that could be heard down the hall. … Six AM did come early that morning and every morning thereafter, especially for the first two weeks. The first module of their training was Basic Operations and Tactics. Weiss had jokingly called it Boot Camp, but he wasn’t far off the mark. Morning PT usually consisted of a five mile run, sit-ups, push-ups, jumping jacks and a variety of other calisthenics. They were then given an hour to shower and change and another half an hour to eat. Their daily training consisted of basic marksmanship training, self-defense, and close combat training. Classes were interspersed between all of these, which included a synopsis of current world events, political case studies, technical training on weapons, and theory and practical training in explosives and demolitions. A week into the first module, Vaughn looked up as Weiss collapsed exhaustedly on his bed. “My entire body is sore,” Weiss moaned into his pillow. Vaughn snorted in agreement. “Don’t forget, we have Judo this evening.” Weiss groaned and threw the pillow over his head. “And we have a weapon’s test tomorrow too.” Vaughn laughed at Weiss’ exaggerated sobs. “Come on, you know all this. We’ve been studying the specs for three days now. What’s the muzzle velocity for the M4?” Weiss mumbled incoherently into his pillow but Vaughn got the faint impression that he was cursing. Finally Weiss lifted the pillow of his face. “Nine hundred and seventy-five miles per second?” Vaughn shook his head. “Nope, that’s for the M-16 rifle. It’s eight hundred and eight-four miles per second for the M4.” “Show off,” Weiss replied with a small smile before hiding his face again. “Im sogonnafail.” “What?” Vaughn asked as he got up and picked the pillow off of Weiss’ face. “I said, I’m so going to fail. They’re going to kick me out, and then they’re gonna ship me back home and I’ll have to tell my momma that her boy was a washout.” Vaughn took the pillow in his hand and playfully smacked Eric on the head with it. The next day, Eric didn’t end up failing. In fact, he got the highest mark of the class on that test. … “So Boy Scout, way to make an impression with the instructor.” Vaughn hung his head in embarrassment. “Yeah, because Clandestine Training wasn’t going to be difficult enough without having Agent Elliot on my case right from the beginning.” Weiss laughed and released his yo-yo with an easy flick of his wrist. “Ah, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ll never forget your field manual again.” Vaughn nodded and buried his head under his pillow. “Oh no you don’t. I’m not letting you sulk. At least your call sign isn’t Retriever!” Weiss pocketed his yo-yo and threw the pillow off of Vaughn’s head. Vaughn gave him a lopsided grin. “Now that was funny!” “Gee, thanks.” Weiss rolled his eyes. “Of all the times for the instructors to walk into the common room." “But you were doing such a great dog barking impression!” Weiss picked up Vaughn’s pillow and proceeded to smack him on the head with it. “Hey!” Vaughn exclaimed in surprise as he rolled out of the way of the continuing attack. Sliding off the bed, he grabbed the pillow off of Weiss’ bed and armed himself. “Are you sure that’s a smart move Eric? I can kick your ass if I want to.” Weiss laughed as he moved out of the way of Vaughn’s pillow attack. “I doubt it, Mike. I have twenty pounds on you, and I was on my college wrestling team.” In spite of the ridiculousness of two CIA operatives in-training having a pillow fight, they proceeded to do just that. Of course, being CIA and operatives in-training, the pillow fight soon got dirty, as they abandoned the pillows for more effective means. Weiss tackled Vaughn over one of the desk chairs that got in their way and Vaughn retaliated by pulling Weiss down with him. They fell, laughing and struggling into a tangled heap on Vaughn’s bed. As they lay panting and breathless, Vaughn suddenly became aware that their tangled legs were rather intimately intertwined and that their exertion and play fighting had caused him to get hard. A split second later, he realized that he could say the same about his friend, because Vaughn’s thigh was pressed between Eric’s legs. The small moment of awkwardness that passed between them was quickly brushed aside as they untangled themselves. Instead, by a mutual, silent decision, neither of them made any comment about it. Weiss got up first and offered Vaughn a hand in getting up. “Let’s go drag Beck and Chen out for a beer. I saw then sitting in the common room before.” Vaughn smiled as he took Weiss’ hand and got up, brushing himself off. “Good idea, man.” Despite his early misstep, Vaughn didn’t have a difficult time passing Clandestine Training. In fact, he received the second highest mark in the class, followed closely by Weiss. And despite their small misstep and the moment of awkwardness that ensued in their room, Vaughn and Weiss found that they made exceptional study partners and could easily cheer each other up when the stress started to become too much. After that, it wasn’t a far stretch before they were calling each other friends.
“I’m forgetting something, I know I am.” Weiss said in a panic, while sorting through his rucksack. “Canteen?” Vaughn offered. Weiss checked the front of his kit. “Yup. Check.” “Field Manual?” Weiss chuckled. “Check.” “Rain poncho?” “Yup” “What about the extra batteries for your radio? I saw you put them on the desk last night.” Weiss turned and grabbed the batteries. “Vaughn, I love you. You know that right?” Vaughn laughed as Weiss playfully planted a loud kiss on his cheek before Jim Beck poked his head into the room. “Are you two ready yet? The bus is outside and the instructors are hollering for us to get out.” “Yeah, we’re ready.” Vaughn replied throwing his rucksack on his back and grabbing his rifle that was lying on the bed. “I feel like I’m in the army or something.” “Yeah, what’s the exercise called again?” Weiss mumbled under his breath. “Operation Nosce te Ipsum.” Beck called out from down the hall. Weiss snorted. “Did I mention that I hated studying Latin in school?” … Three days later, as the rain was pouring down upon them, Vaughn signaled his group to halt. A small movement out of the corner of his eye caused him to make a split second decision as he gave the hand signal for everyone to drop to the ground. Vaughn kneeled down behind a large tree and pulled out his binoculars. Scanning the forest in the direction that he had seen movement, he paused and held his breath as well. Unfortunately, the pounding of the rain around them echoed through the forest, masking any noise that could have identified what the movement was that he had seen. He turned and motioned for his group to come up to him. Weiss, Beck, Diego Rodriguez, Amelia Evans and Jen Parker moved closer and found some shrubs and trees to hide in as they knelt around him. “Beck, you and Evans go do a quick patrol, out two hundred feet from our ten o’clock here. I saw some movements, but for all I know it might just have been a rabbit or something. Come back here when you’re done.” Beck and Evans nodded and took off stealthily in the direction Vaughn had indicated. Vaughn nodded to Rodriguez and he moved quickly back ten paces to keep an eye on their rear. Weiss turned to him while tapping on his watch. “The intel we acquired yesterday expires in seven hours.” Vaughn nodded. “I know. But we should be almost there.” He leaned over and checked out the map that Parker had pulled out. “Are we getting any signal from the GPS?” Parker shook her head as she checked it again. “Nothing. But I’ve double checked all the bearings that you’ve done since this morning. We should be on track.” Vaughn nodded and looked back at his friend. They were all filthy and exhausted, but on top of it all, Weiss had taken a nasty tumble down a hill and into a ravine yesterday. A large jagged cut marred the right side of his face. Beck and Evans soon came back, their movements hardly making any sound in the mud and rain. Beck nodded his head. “Yeah, you saw someone alright; it was Charlie team and they’re right on our trail.” Vaughn smirked in triumph. “Well let’s go then, if they’re here too, then the race is going to be tight.” Parker looked at the map quickly. “Vaughn, we can save ourselves five miles if we take a short cut through the ravine to our right, but then we’ll have to set up a line to get out of the gorge at that point. Do you want to do that?” Vaughn quickly looked at his teammates and they nodded. He pulled out his compass and gave it to Parker. “Let’s go then, Parker. Lead the way.” … The sprint through the ravine was uneventful, but the climb out of the gorge ended up providing them with a bit of a challenge. Rodriguez’s belay line got tangled and he was stuck suspended forty feet in the air while they tried to sort it out. Evans did a nasty face-plant into the rock face when her feet slipped out from under her and her face and hands got all scratch up. Eventually though, they all reached the top of the gorge, just as the sun was setting in the horizon. From there, they practically had to sprint through the bush, in a desperate attempt to beat the other teams and to make it to the building in time. Rodriguez returned from point, with an hour to spare before their codes became worthless. “The complex is up ahead and it looks like the guard schedule is following the one we were given.” Vaughn tried not to dampen their spirits as the team started celebrating, but they still had to get there. “Come on guys, I know you’re tired, but we’re almost there. Let’s split into our two person teams and finish this job. Evans and Rodriguez, you guys are going to approach from the east. There should be a main guard gate with an electronic console. Parker and Weiss, you guys are going to disable the power generator on the south side, once Evans radios you that they’ve scrambled the lock. Beck and I will go through the basement entrance and retrieve the documents from the safe. Everyone understand?” Vaughn looked at all their faces as they nodded. “Ok, radio silence then unless absolutely necessary.” Each of the teams broke up and headed off in their separate directions. The final leg of their mission and the most important part of the exercise was over relatively quickly, considering that the set up for it had taken three and a half days. It didn’t work out exactly as they had planned, but then it never does. Parker and Weiss had found the generator, but to get to it they had to climb over a ten foot high fence with barbed wire over the top. Weiss got scratches all up along his arms and Parker tore the legs of her pants and needed ten stitches afterwards which Rodriguez had to administer. Evans did manage to scramble the lock, but some of the instructors who were pretending to be the guards, came upon them and captured them. Vaughn didn’t get out unscathed either but that was because when they reached the safe, Beck couldn’t find his lock descrambler. They had to try and break through the safe with a blow torch that they found in the garden shed. The documents almost went up in flames as they finally punched a hole through the vault and Vaughn badly scraped the side of his hand trying to jerk the blowtorch back at the last minute. In the end though, they were the first group to retrieve the documents and, therefore, brought the mission to an end for everyone. As the instructors radioed all the teams to tell them to come in, and as Rodriguez stitched up Parker’s leg, Vaughn collapsed in a tired, yet happy, heap on the couch in the living room of the building they had just infiltrated. And as people started to relax and unwind, the stories started to flow. The instructors brought in a few cases of beer for a small after exercise party and even they were laughing at all the stories that were being told. Weiss brought Vaughn a beer and threw himself down next to him. “Cheers buddy! You did it.” “We did it.” Vaughn corrected him, taking the beer and clinking it against his friend’s. Weiss waved aside his modestly. “Please. You were the agent in charge of our section. You got us here without the GPS!” Vaughn leaned his head against the back of the sofa. “Yes, but you got us those fresh rations from that nice old lady at that farm!” Weiss started laughing as Alpha team started to come in. “Yeah, Weiss, I want to hear about how you guys got that hen anyways? I heard the clucking over the radio! Did you actually stop en route to have a roast chicken dinner?” Baker slapped Weiss’ back good-naturedly. “No, no,” Vaughn interrupted laughingly. “We stopped at this farmhouse to beg for some rations, and this nice old lady came to the door. Well apparently, her faucet had been leaking for months, so she asked if any of us knew how to fix it. Well Weiss here volunteers and fixes it in like fifteen minutes. The old lady was so thankful, she decided that the only proper repayment was to give us this chicken!” The instructors and some of the members of Alpha team started to crowd around to hear the rest of the story. “So Weiss took the hen, with this big grin on his face and we couldn’t stop ourselves from laughing, but he took it and then shoved the hen into his rucksack. So imagine this, we’re leaving the farmhouse with nothing but a few apples and this hen clucking madly and squirming in the back of his ruck. ” Vaughn started to imitate the chicken and everyone started laughing. “Hey, I traded that hen for twelve ham sandwiches…” Weiss added laughingly. “Yeah, but I’m the one that had to get her out of your bag and hand her over. She almost pecked my fingers off!” Beck joined in from the other side of the room. The party continued as Charlie team arrived and the entire course started to unwind as the instructors told stories as they had heard them over the radios. Everyone was so exhausted though, that after a few beers, most of the candidates were quite inebriated. “Hey Chen, how come you guys ended up coming here so late? We were neck in neck back there.” Vaughn called out to one of his classmates as Jen Parker slid into his lap. Chen rolled his eyes. “Let’s just say, that D’Souza learned an important lesson today. She learned not to hold the radio close to her compass while shooting a bearing.” “You got lost?!” Parker slurred her words as she laughed. Chen mumbled a response but Vaughn couldn’t catch it because Weiss was trying to stick a wet finger in his ear. “Stop it. What the hell are you doing?” Vaughn batted him away with a smile. ‘I just feel so dirty and tired and drunk…” Weiss mumbled into Vaughn’s ear. Vaughn nodded in agreement. “Me too. But what can we do about it?” Weiss stuck his forefinger in his mouth, pulled it out and aimed it for Vaughn’s ear again. Vaughn moved to swatted it away but missed. “We could find the shower. Wouldn’t that be cool?” Eric smiled as he settled for leaning his head against Vaughn’s shoulder. Vaughn nodded again with a lazy nod and then scooted Parker out of his lap. “Jen we’re going to go find a shower, wanna come?” Parker gave them a lopsided smile as she chugged her remaining beer and got up. “Sure, why not. But let me take my boots off first because they’re killing me.” She sat down on the floor and started to unlace her boots but the knot seemed too much for her addled mind. Sarah Mendez came by and tripped over her and they ended up in a pile together. Vaughn and Weiss watched with some amusement as Jen enlisted Sarah’s help in untying her boots. The instructors had long since left, promising to come pick them up in the morning. As such, things were quickly dissolving from a victory party into a drunken stupor; at least for those candidates who hadn’t just passed out all together. The knot on Jen’s boot seemed to be too much for Sarah to handle because she pulled out her pocket knife and cut the shoelace off. Jen squealed with delight and then oddly enough, Sarah asked if Jen had anything else that she could take off. Much to Vaughn and Weiss’ amazement, Jen shrugged and then leaned over and licked Sarah’s cheek. As the two girls suddenly started making out on the floor Vaughn looked around in a shocked and drunken haze. The booze was helping everyone relax after a stressful few months and apparently there was some unresolved sexual tension in the air; tension that everyone seemed determine to work through right at this moment. Vaughn laughed when he suddenly noticed that there was a game of strip poker going on in the corner. Evans was playing with a few of the guys and was decidedly losing. But then, judging by the way she was laughing and teasing the men at the table, Vaughn decided that maybe she was actually winning, depending on what the stakes were. Without thinking, Vaughn grabbed Weiss’ arm and pulled him up the stairs. “Mike!” Weiss exclaimed, pulling back on his arm and causing Vaughn to stumble into him. “There are two girls making out over there on the floor!” Vaughn tried to extract himself from Weiss’ arms but found that Eric wasn’t cooperating. He finally settled for getting his feet directly under his body and leaning into his friend. Slowly he noticed exactly how close he was standing to him and that Weiss smelled, not altogether unpleasantly, of beer, dirt, and sweat. “I know. But you said you wanted a shower?” “Yeah, but there’s two girls making out over there. And we know them!” “I know,” Vaughn replied trying to get him up the stairs again. “But they’re going to kick our asses tomorrow if they remember us watching them.” Weiss reluctantly allowed himself to be pulled up the stairs. “Oh fine. But you are such a killjoy sometimes you know!” Vaughn laughed as they tumbled down the second floor hallway together, their arms still draped around each other, though it wasn’t clear who was holding up whom. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.” Vaughn opened random doors, interrupting another two of his classmates that had found their way into the closet together. “Oops, sorry man,” Vaughn apologized to Strickland and shut the door. He didn’t even catch which of the female candidates had been in there with him, but it hardly seemed relevant. Eventually they found the washroom and tumbled inside. “There you go Eric. See, I told you I would find you the shower!” Eric swayed and shut the door behind them and then looked down at his boots. Vaughn followed his gaze and then groaned. “Oh, man, don’t tell my you need help with your boots too?” But Eric smiled. “Nah, I replaced my laces with a zipper.” But as he leaned over to unzip his boots, Weiss lost his balance and tumbled into Vaughn, pushing him onto the toilet. Vaughn landed with a thud, with Eric on his lap. Eric looked up at him, with his face, mere inches from his own. Vaughn’s head was spinning quite pleasantly and the only thought that he could think of at the moment was that Eric’s eyes were a very warm shade of brown. Apparently, the filter between his mind and his mouth wasn’t working anymore because that exact phrase came tumbling out of his mouth. Eric continued to look at him for a few moments before he finally brought his mouth down upon Vaughn’s in a scorching kiss. Perhaps in retrospect, Vaughn couldn’t understand why he wasn’t more surprised to be kissing his friend, but at the time, the only thought that had been going through his head was that the kiss felt incredibly good, especially since he was suddenly hard. He couldn’t help but groan into Eric’s mouth. Eric responded by sliding his tongue across Vaughn’s lips and into his mouth. The moment quickly escalated when Vaughn got up off the toilet and pinned Eric to the wall, all the while, never breaking their connection. Vaughn felt the other man’s erection through the thick material of the utility pants and instantly felt his own erection strengthen. Weiss broke an arm free from Vaughn’s grip and quickly started to undo his own belt. Vaughn pulled back to give Weiss more room and it was then when their eyes met. Eric stared at his friend. “Is this okay, Mike?” Mike nodded and smiled. “I am so horny and drunk right now…” Eric nodded. “Me too, but we still have to be roommates for another three months.” “Do you think this will be a problem?” Eric shook his head. “Not if you don’t.” Vaughn helped Eric with his belt and then bent down to help him take off his boots. Eric stepped out of his pants and then turned on the taps of the shower leaving Vaughn to get undressed. When they were both naked, they stepped into the shower. Weiss sighed contently as the warm water beat down on his back. Vaughn found some soap in the corner and quickly lathered his hands. Starting with Eric’s face, and being careful of the cut on his cheek, Vaughn lathered him with soap all the way down to his legs. Before he could get to his groin though, Eric made him stop so that he could wash the soap out of his eyes. Turning back and finding the bar of soap that Vaughn had used, Eric quickly returned the favor. Soon they were both past the lathering part and were rubbing each other’s cocks with their hands. Eric leaned back against the wall, while Vaughn braced himself against the wall with one hand, his head resting on Eric’s chest. The noise of the shower hid most of their moans, and masked the sounds of their bodies rubbing together. As Vaughn felt his orgasm building, he grasped Eric’s lips with his own and they devoured each other’s screams of release as the water beating down upon them.
Vaughn sat down on the edge of the bed and gently brushed the side of Eric’s face. Slowly Eric’s eyes fluttered open. “Mike?” Eric’s forehead wrinkled as he tried to focus in the darkness around then. “Is something wrong?” Vaughn shook his head and smiled. “No, nothing’s wrong. But with people always in and out of here and with all the classes, we haven’t had any time to ourselves since...” Weiss opened one of his eyes fully and glanced at his alarm clock. “It’s three AM.” Vaughn looked at him sheepishly until finally Weiss relented. Looking up at him with a smile, Eric moved over on his bed so that Vaughn could sit comfortably. “Any regrets?” Eric asked as Vaughn scooted closer before deciding just to lie down next to him. “No. You?” Vaughn turned his face so that he could look at him. Their faces were only inches apart as their chests rose and fell in a quiet rhythm. The barracks echoed of silence. Eric shook his head. “Only that I wish it would happen again, I guess.” Vaughn smiled and brought his hand back up to Eric’s face. Drawing his fingers lightly over the stubble, Vaughn leaned in closer and ran his lips over his friend’s. Eric responded by slowly opening his mouth and softly sliding his tongue to meet his. Vaughn shivered as soon as he felt Eric’s tongue in his mouth. Without breaking their kiss, Vaughn leaned into him, bringing their bodies closer together. He immediately felt his cock tighten as it came into contact with Weiss’ thigh but he wasn’t sure which of them actually ended up moaning. Finally breaking apart, Vaughn quickly pulled his t-shirt up and over his head and tossed it somewhere behind him. Watching Eric smile at him in the half-light provided by the moon peaking through their curtain, Vaughn followed Eric with his eyes as he leaned over him and licked and rolled his nipple between his lips. Vaughn threw his head back as Eric moved a little bit lower and wondered which was worse; the unceasing sexual tension between them these last few weeks or the unbearable control required not to make any noise in a bed that already squeaked whenever you moved. … The classes didn’t stop because of their late night rendezvous, however. If anything, they became even more difficult because of the lack of sleep. “Eric, can you stop for a moment, we need to finish this case study for tomorrow.” Vaughn swatted at Eric irritably. Eric stopped nibbling on the back of Michael’s neck and lay back on the bed. “You’re no fun, you know?” Vaughn rolled his eyes and got out of Eric’s bed. He sat casually down at his desk and opened up a textbook. A knock came on their door and without warning or waiting for an answer, Jen Parker opened the door. “Hey guys. I was just wondering if either of you guys have time to go over the specs of all the mines with me. I’ve been staring at the schematics of the claymore and the M-15, and I just don’t get it.” Weiss hopped off the bed, which squeaked loudly in protest, and turned to her after shooting his friend a dirty look. “Don’t worry Jen, I’ll help you. Mike’s just complaining about me draggin’ him down anyways.” Eric grabbed a notebook off his desk. “Let’s go sit down in the common room so we don’t disturb him.” … “I did mean that you were ‘draggin’ me down’ as you put it,” Vaughn said touchily when Weiss returned to their room, hours later. Weiss shrugged. “Whatever.” Vaughn placed the book down on his lap that he was reading while sitting up in his own bed. “Look, I’m sorry. I just get so wound up. With people always in and out of our room, we can’t afford to have anyone find out about us. So with that stress, on top of all the stress with the course, I just get irritable, I know. I’m sorry.” Weiss started getting undressed, with his back to Vaughn. After he grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist, he turned back to his friend. “Look, don’t worry about it, Mike. I thought the whole point of this thing between us was to help reduce stress, not to make our lives more complicated.” “I know,” Vaughn sighed as he reached out and grabbed the edge of Eric’s towel, pulling him closer until he sat down on the edge of his bed. “I’m just sorry. Are we ok?” Eric nodded and gave him a lopsided smile. “Yeah, we’re ok.” Leaning over, Weiss gave him a quick kiss. “But I have to shower and we have to get up early tomorrow.” Vaughn nodded as Weiss pulled away. “Yeah. My favorite. Tomorrow morning is the five mile jog with Agent Mihailovic.” Weiss groaned as he got back up and Vaughn smiled at his theatrics.
5. Lowest Common Denominators (Oct 1997) “Today we begin, what is probably the hardest part of the training.” The class sat in perfect silence as Elliot stood in front of them. “Now some of you may wonder why we didn’t put the most difficult part of the course, in the beginning, so that we could cut the maximum number of people. The truth is, despite my speech to you the first night you arrived here, each of you here today, is here because we felt that you had something to contribute to the Operations Division of the CIA. And if you guys can make it through the training, then we want you here.” “The Exploitation of Human Resources is a nasty, horrible, business and not one that the CIA sanctions. However, there are countries, where some of you may find yourself stationed in, which not only sanction it, but have made interrogation into an art form. It was important to us as instructors to give you all the tools necessary to pass these next few weeks and to give you the knowledge to put this subject into context for yourselves, before we began studying it. We want you guys to pass, but we will understand if you don’t.” “The next three weeks, you will studying and undergoing various forms of psychological and physical torture. The purposes behind this are to acquaint you all with the rather ugly, yet realistic nature of being a spy and to hone in the skills of compartmentalization that we’ve been teaching you through exercise and meditation. You will all be pushed to your very limits and be forced to watch your friends pushed to theirs. Some of you may crack. Every few years we must fail a candidate because they are no long psychologically stable enough to complete the course. Some of you may ask to leave because you’ve decided that you can’t or won’t subject yourself to this.” “Is there anyone that knows at this time, that they would like to withdraw from the course?” The class sat in stunned silence. “Fine,” Elliot continued, his face impassive as always. “From this moment forth, you are all prohibited from drinking any alcohol and from taking any drugs, prescription or otherwise. This includes even taking some aspirin for a headache or cough syrup for a cold. Any and all meds must be cleared by Dr Tracie. Is that understood?” Everyone nodded Suddenly Elliot’s face relaxed and broke into a small smile. “Good. Then let’s all go get changed into our utilities and meet down by the firing range in 30 minutes. We’re going to start the day with a trip to the gas hut. And for god’s sake, those of you wearing contact lenses, take them off first. If your mask isn’t sealed properly, they’ll melt and stick to your eyeballs.” … Vaughn lay on his bed, rubbing his eyes while Weiss came to sit down next to him. “Wasn’t that fun?” Vaughn glared at him. “My nose burned, it felt like my eyes were on fire, and my throat is still burning. How did it not affect you?” Weiss laughed and rubbed Vaughn’s shoulders in a soothing manner. “It did affect me, but one, I got my gas mask on a lot quicker than you did; two, I didn’t open my mouth and swallow the gas while attempting to get my gas mask unhooked from my belt and three, I just don’t whine as much as you do.” “I don’t whine!” Vaughn declared pretending to be hurt, but Eric kept massaging his shoulders. Soon Vaughn forgot to complain altogether. … Vaughn shifted uncomfortably in his seat while watching the screens in front of them. Beck looked a little nauseous and Sarah Mendez wasn’t even looking at the screens anymore. There were three monitors on the wall, each one of them providing a closed circuit feed to one of their classmates. Rodriguez was in a small cell, completely naked and shivering in the corner. Periodically men would come in with a large pail of water and dunk his head into it for half a minute at a time. Vaughn looked down at his notes and shivered himself. Rodriguez had been taken from his bed four nights ago. On the monitor next to him, Weiss was in a dark, sensory deprivation chamber and as such, the video didn’t give them any insight into what was happening. However, the audio clearly picked up Eric’s calls for help and half crazed ramblings. The monitor underneath showed his heart rate, respiration and blood pressure. Vaughn rubbed a soothing hand on Sarah’s arm. Eric and Jen had been taken from the common last night. They’d stayed up chatting and never made it to bed. Jen’s monitor was off now, because the instructors had just removed her from the tank. She had lasted twenty three hours under sensory deprivation before her hysterics had caused her to pass out in exhaustion. As the haunting sound of Weiss’ sobs reverberated in his head, Vaughn gripped his pen tighter and forced himself to record his friend’s vitals because that was his job. All the candidates not in interrogation had to monitor the classmates that were, and document their responses and reactions. Vaughn looked at his watch to check the time. It was two AM. He felt his body shiver from exhaustion, but the adrenaline still coursing through his veins kept him wide awake. It was either the adrenaline or the echoes of Jen’s screams that kept ricocheting around in his mind, but either way Vaughn felt like he would never close his eyes again. Before he snapped his pen in half, Vaughn forced his mind back to the task at hand. Weiss’ heartbeat and breathing kept jumping erratically and his blood pressure had increased to 160/120. “Come on Eric. You can do it. Hang in there buddy,” Vaughn whispered to himself under his breath. ... “Eric, let me help.” “I don’t need it, I’m fine.” “It’s ok, let me grab your jacket or something.” “I said, I’m fine, Mike! Jeez,” Weiss snapped his arm back that Vaughn was trying to grab. Vaughn opened the door to the barracks for him but Weiss just walked angrily past. Vaughn stared at him helplessly. “I just want to help,” Vaughn said quietly as they approached the common room. Eric spun on his heels and turned back to him. “Well I don’t want help, thank-you very much. I’ve already had my crying recorded for prosperity and had my breakdown witnessed by all the other students. I think I can muster the dignity of carrying my jacket back to my room and crawling into bed, all by myself.” “It wasn’t just you, Eric. Everyone snaps. They keep you in there until you unravel.” “Well then let’s wait until they do it to you, and you can see how it feels then first hand. Until then, just leave me the fuck alone.” Weiss stomped down the hall and Vaughn practically jumped out of his skin when he heard the door to their room slam shut. … Weiss stood with his back against the door, his chest heaving and his hands clenched into two tight fists. He could feel the tears threatening to fall and he didn’t want to cry again. Unfortunately, the harder he tried to keep them in, the more he felt them threatening to burst. He’d cried. He’d broken in that chamber and cried hysterically because the darkness would never end. He had known it was a test. He had known that it was just a matter of compartmentalizing his fears and waiting it out. But he hadn’t been able to do it. When he had woken up in the darkness, there had been the first few moments of shear panic. He couldn’t feel or see or hear anything. There was just complete darkness. But as his memory returned, he remembered being taken by surprise in the common room with Jen. And then the panic had returned as he tried to turn and twist himself around to see if he could see anything. But there had been nothing. Just him, inside his own mind, in complete darkness. As he thought back to the training that they had done, he realized that this was his test. He had forced his mind to calm down and to throw his fear and panic aside. He’d started out with the simple meditation that he had been taught and it worked. It had calmed him down and allowed him to focus. And he started to wait. And he waited. And waited. But the darkness never ended. And every once in a while, the panic would resurface and he would have to concentrate on bringing it under control. He knew that everyone would be watching him, so he forced himself to put on a brave face. He pushed back the fear and decided to daydream. He soon found, however, that he didn’t have as much control over his mind as he would have liked. Every once in a while, he would remember something unpleasant. Like the time when he was thirteen and he stolen a chocolate bar from the corner store. It had been a stupid thing to do, but he hadn’t really thought about it, he just took it and ran. Needless to say, the store owner had known who he was and called his parents. His mom’s disappointed lecture was brought back with a vivid clarity and he found that he couldn’t push it away. There were no distractions for his mind. Once his mind decided to go down a certain path, he found that there were far too many things in his life of which he wasn’t proud of. Like when he cheated on a math test in fifth grade. Or the time he lied to his best friend. All these thoughts had whirled around in his brain, distracting him from his peace. And then of course, thoughts of Vaughn would find their way in. What would his mother say to him, if she knew that he was sleeping with another man? The disappointment lecture played over and over in his mind, but after a while, it was Vaughn that was yelling at him. And he started sobbing because Vaughn was right. He didn’t deserve him, if he was so weak that he couldn’t even control his own mind. It was Vaughn that he couldn’t live up to and was scared of disappointing, though he was sure that the disappointment was already there. After all, Vaughn had witnessed his breakdown, along with everybody else. As the tears came now in earnest and he stifled a sob that threatened to tear out of his throat, Weiss was glad that at least he’d made it back to his room with what remained of dignity intact. … Vaughn threw his fist into the wall of the washroom but the explosion of pain didn’t lesson the twisting in his heart. He’d failed his friend. He hadn’t been able to do anything to protect him, and even now, when it was all over, he still couldn’t help. He was useless. He could feel it down into his bones. Vaughn leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, burying his face in his shaking hands. He hadn’t been able to stop them. Vaughn suddenly felt the accumulation of missed sleep and intense stress. Jen’s cries from two nights ago, still echoed in his mind, superimposed over the Eric’s sobs and Rodriguez’s screams. And yesterday morning, he’d watched the instructors beat up Amelia Evans. They’d been captured during a search and rescue exercise and thrown into these makeshift cells outside of a clearing. The images of Agent Mihailovic tying Evans’ arms behind her back as the rest of them were forced to watch from their cells, and then beating the shit out of her, kept flashing through his mind. He was sure that the instructors couldn’t leave any permanent marks. He was sure that there were laws against these things, but they wouldn’t stop. But they kept asking her questions, trying to break her, and she kept refusing to answer. Even after she lay on the grass, with blood spurting out of her nose, they didn’t untie her. They just left her there lying on the ground, to see if she would break. Eventually she did. And her hysterics were now added to the symphony reverberating through Vaughn’s head. Vaughn slammed his already aching hand down against the floor. It was his fault that they got captured. If only he’d gotten a bit more sleep, then perhaps he wouldn’t have missed the sentry that they’d walked by. Maybe he wouldn’t have led his already battered team, into a trap. Maybe if he was thinking these days, instead of feeling like he’d drunken twelve cups of coffee, then he would have been able to find a way to actually be useful. Vaughn punched the floor again in desperation. Maybe if he wasn’t such a fuck up, all of his friends wouldn’t be in so much pain right now. … Baker rubbed his eyes wearily as he recorded Vaughn’s actions from the hidden camera in the lavatory. Looking down at his chart, Baker noticed that Vaughn was on more drugs than he cared to think about, but it looked like he was finally snapping. Students watching students watching students - Baker vaguely wondered if there was someone monitoring him but he shrugged off the paranoia. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that if Vaughn was trying to hurt himself, he was breaking and Baker knew he needed to record that. It just struck him as odd that Vaughn could watch his friend’s pain and the screams and still function, but it was only when everything was settling back to normal, that Vaughn finally broke. … The module ended eight days later and, in compensation for the brutal nature of it, they were given two days of counseling and three days off for the first time in four and a half months. During their counseling sessions, they were told the reasons behind each of the tests that they had been subjected to, and tried to come to terms with what their reactions told them about themselves. No one quit or was failed from the course, but for the duration of those two days of counseling, none of the candidates met each other’s eyes. People sat around the common room, or sat in their rooms reading when they weren’t in meetings or being debriefed, but they kept to themselves. Roommates didn’t talk and no one spent any time together. On the evening of the second night, Agent Elliot gathered the group together and gave them thirty minutes to pack their bags. They were told to bring strictly civilian attire and to lock their weapons in the small safes in their rooms. Half an hour later, as the candidates reassembled in the common room, Elliot smiled and told them to get on the bus. Packing all the instructors into the bus as well, Elliot directed the bus driver to head towards Charleston, South Carolina, because they were going to spend some time at the beach. The bus broke into relieved cheers as the instructors broke open cases of alcohol, and told them all to relax. And slowly they did start to unwind as the beer was passed among them and some popular movies were played on the small televisions located around the coach. The movies started to make them laugh, and by the time they got to their location the process of healing had slowly begun. In the case of two of them however, the scab that that had started to heal over their wounds, ended up leaving a permanent scar.
Vaughn slid down the zip-line until he was hanging fifty feet in the air. Securing the night vision goggles around his head, Vaughn locked his carabineer in place. Using both hands, he then extended the antenna from his receiver and powered it on. The signal came through the receiver and into his earpiece, and was relayed back to the base camp. The static and the background noises made it difficult to listen in, but soon enough he recognized the unique sound of Eric’s voice. “Well that’s not acceptable. I need to know who’s supplying Foday Sankoh with his arms and ammunitions. That’s why I agreed to this trade. If fifty thousand dollars isn’t to your liking, I can go elsewhere.” There was mumbling in the background and Vaughn cursed the old equipment that they had been given as he tried to filter out the noise. “Boy Scout, this is Base Camp, can you get a visual on Retriever’s position? We’re receiving intel that there are three armed vehicles approaching his position.” Vaughn cursed again under his breath. Holding the receiver awkwardly with one hand, he quickly lowered his night-vision goggles back onto his eyes. Then, using his free hand to pull himself along the zip-line, Vaughn tried to focus in through the third storey window of the bar. “Negative Base Camp, I can’t get a visual on Retriever,” Vaughn quickly glanced around and flinched as he saw bright headlight coming from around the next building. “But I can confirm the arrival of those vehicles. They just pulled up. Do you want me to go in?” “Negative Boy Scout,” Beck’s voice came across the radio loud and clear. “We have Delta Team in location. Let them handle it.” With his heart thumping in his chest, Vaughn watched as the three trucks parked underneath him. He watched as the men as they got out and his heart dropped as he counted them. Twelve men got out and made their way to the front entrance. “Base Camp, this is Boy Scout. Pull Delta team back, they’re out numbered three to one.” “Shit!” Vaughn heard Beck swear through his earpiece. “Pull them out of there and I’ll go get Weiss. If I drop a second line, I think I can reach the window. This is the only way!” “Give me a minute Boy Scout!” Beck shouted back to him. Vaughn waited as he watched the men gather rifles out from the back of their trucks and then head towards the front door. “Base Camp?” Vaughn called in, but Beck didn’t answer and Vaughn cursed his radio that only allowed him to monitor two channels. Vaughn silently prayed that Beck had finished communicating with Delta team. Making his decision and without waiting for a response, Vaughn closed the antenna, hooked the receiver back up to his rucksack and pulled out another section of rope. He quickly tied off a repelling line and using multiple clips, he transferred his weight to the second line. Using the cable launcher to secure a third line so that he could use to pull himself closer to the window, Vaughn started to lower himself. Within minutes he was standing on the windowsill, with his gun in his hands, and peering in. The grime and dirt on the window made it difficult to see exactly what was going on, but as soon as Vaughn started to hear gunshots being fired, he didn’t waste any time before kicking in the window. As the glass shattered, Vaughn watched Weiss dive to the floor and make his way to some tables for cover. “Weiss!” Vaughn screamed through the broken window and then ducked back outside as the bullets kept flying around. The men that Weiss had been meeting were firing back now and he was caught in the crossfire. “What the hell are you doing?” Weiss hissed when he noticed Vaughn. Moving quickly so as not to provide an easy target, Eric darted around the fallen furniture until he made his way towards the window. Of course by then everyone had noticed his intended path of escape, and started firing at him. Weiss stumbled as he climbed through the broken glass. Vaughn didn’t waste any time as he grabbed the rope behind him with his left hand. “Hold on to me tight!” he screamed. Reaching around his friend with his other arm to secure him, Vaughn used his weight to propel them both off the window sill. … “Do you mind telling me what the fuck happened back there?” Weiss whispered hoarsely as they dodged into an alley and hid behind an old truck. Vaughn wrestled to catch his breath. “Delta team was ambushed downstairs.” “And you thought you were suddenly Tarzan, coming in to save me?” Eric looked at him angrily. Vaughn snapped his face towards him. “What’s that supposed to mean? I saved your ass back there!” Eric reached behind Vaughn towards the receiver. “And what about that? You were supposed to be securing the communications! You were the relay point.” Vaughn shook his head. “I told them I was going in; I gave them time to relay the message to Delta team—” “No! You left them all without comms so that you could play hero! What if Delta Team’s trapped? They have no way of communicating with headquarters now.” “I trusted all the people to do their jobs, and I did mine, Eric. Delta team’s back up exit was clear. If they retreated when they were told to, then they should have had no problem getting back to Ops.” “It wasn’t your call to make! Beck was in charge of this op—” “And the agent in the field always has final operational discretion. I saw what was going on there and I made an executive decision!” “That could have cost us four people! Mike, this isn’t practice anymore. We’re in fucking Sierra Leone, for chrissake. They were using real bullets back there. I know this is still a training exercise, but it’s for real!” Vaughn turned to his friend, his eyes blazing with anger. “I fucking know that it’s for real! That’s why I came to get you out. Otherwise, you’d still be trapped in there between the rebels and the army!” Weiss flinched as moved. “I don’t need you to be my protector.” But Vaughn had noticed the grimace and so looked at his friend closer. “You’re hurt,” he said, grabbing Weiss’ arm with one hand and holding his flashlight up with his other and pointing it at his friend’s shoulder. Blood was seeping through the front of his shirt. “I’m fine, Mike. It’s just a flesh wound.” But Vaughn ignored him and started to move the sleeve of his shirt for a better look. Weiss jerked his arm way angrily. “Trust me Mike! I’m fine!” “Look, I said I was sorry. I know that I have issues dealing with friends being hurt or in danger. I’m working on it. But you have to start trusting me too. I made an unbiased decision back there. It was the only way to get you out. Now I need to look at your wound. If you’re badly hurt, then we can’t keep running. We’ll have to find a place to hideout and then call in for an extraction.” “I said I’m fine.” Weiss repeated but he let Vaughn get a closer look. “You’re right,” Vaughn said finally after he had stretched Eric’s sleeve up to look at his shoulder. “It’s just a flesh wound. Let me throw this gauze on it and tape it up so you’re not dripping blood everywhere. Then, we can keep going. The rendezvous point is only another two miles from here.” Weiss finally relented and then shivered as Vaughn removed his shirt so that he could tend to his shoulder. A tense silence fell between them until finally Weiss spoke up. “I can’t keep doing this, you know.” Vaughn paused and looked at him. “Doing what? This course?” Weiss shook his head. “No. This thing between us. It’s killing me.” Vaughn frowned and continued bandaging his shoulder. “Can we talk about this when we get back home?” Weiss grabbed Vaughn’s arm and made him stop again. “No. I need to say this now. Because if I wait until we’re back at the Farm, then we’ll just be distracted by something else.” “The truth is, this isn’t working,” Eric put his finger on Mike’s lips to shush him. “We’re good together, believe me! I care about you. Every time we’re together it starts off great, but then something happens. It’s either some exercise or homework, or Jen comes into our room, and it’s like we hit a brick wall and we can’t go any further. It’s always one step forward, two steps back and it’s hurting me. You want to take care of me, but I need to be strong enough so that you don’t need to. Does that make any sense, Mike?” Vaughn stared at him for a few minutes, trying to get his heart under control, but he suddenly felt like he was going to be sick. “Maybe it’s just the Farm. Maybe things will get better, when we’re out of here.” Weiss shrugged and looked away. “Maybe. But maybe not. We’re probably going to be working out of the same office, Mike. This is going to be our life. Besides, have you even thought about the ramifications of making our relationship more permanent?” Vaughn looked away as well and finished tying off the bandage. “There. All done. We’d better get going.” “Mike?” Vaughn looked at his friend in the dim light of the night. “If you don’t want this thing with us, that’s fine, Eric. You’re right. I haven’t really thought about what it would be like to take you home to meet my mom, but I thought I would have the opportunity to think about that when we graduated. Things are fucked up here, I know that. But I was hoping that we weren’t one of those things.” Vaughn threw his rucksack back over his shoulder and pocketed the flashlight. “Let’s go. If we take too long in getting there, they’re going to send out a team for us and we can’t afford anymore exposure here now. Elliot’s going to have a fit when he finds out how badly this went to shit.” Weiss gingerly put his shirt back on and grabbed another clip for his pistol out of his pocket. “I’m sorry Mike.” Vaughn looked back at him. “Me too.” Making an effort to blend into the shadows of the alleyway, Vaughn and Weiss slowly continued making their way to the rendezvous point.
Weiss watched as Sydney paced around the dirty warehouse, twisting her hand within her other hand. “Anything from Vaughn?” Weiss shook his head. “Nothing.” Not for the first time or the last, he wondered just how things had come to be so messed up. But he didn’t take his eyes off of Sydney and he watched as she turned her head and stared at him angrily. “Well what the hell’s being done?” Eric continued watching her, almost mesmerized by her. As if by studying her carefully enough, maybe he could begin to understand things. Things like, when had his anger been delegated to the backburner? And really, how had Sydney come to be the winner when Vaughn was faced with the choice of following a CIA directive or helping her out. “We’ve got a team in Taipei—” “I was in Taipei!” she interrupted. Weiss crossed his arms in frustration. “We’re tracking every lead possible.” “Don’t do that! Don’t give me the company line!” Weiss turned to her furiously, his anger and frustration finally leaking through. “Sydney, this is the best we can do!” But she didn’t back down. Sydney Bristow never backed down. Sydney was a woman that needed no one to protect her and yet Eric could see it clearly on her face that she loved him. Weiss almost laughed at the irony. She wasn’t so different from him. Yet she embraced him as her Guardian Angel as though it was a tribute to her.
“Vaughn might not be in Taipei!” Finally Weiss snapped. He could hear the scorn and criticism in her voice, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. “I understand that! He’s my friend, too!” He laid out his claim in broad daylight and Sydney blanched a little. Eric sighed and forced his voice to be a little softer. “I promise you, we’re looking as hard as we can. I know this is tough for you, but you have to focus.” She looked at him searchingly for a moment and Eric felt the sudden desire to run from her eyes. So he looked away. Sydney ran a cool fingertip across the bottom of his chin and turned his head back towards her. “I’m sorry,” she spoke softly as she dropped her hand to her side. “When I first came to the CIA, I thought I was invincible. I thought I could take down SD-6 and be done with the CIA before the end of the school term. I thought I didn’t need anyone or anything anymore. I guess I was wrong.” Weiss watched as she sat down on the crate next to him. She kept her eyes on the floor and once again, he found himself studying her, in hopes to garner her secret. And as he watched her sigh in frustration, Eric realized that perhaps it was just Vaughn’s nature to want to jump in and save everyone. Maybe he really was just a boy scout. But as he thought back over the last few months, Eric had to amend his theory. Vaughn had dated Alice for a year or so and yet during that time, he hardly ever went out of his way to make her life easier. Eric had heard about all their fights. He had listened the morning after to Vaughn’s tirade when Alice made him sleep on the couch or sent him back to his own apartment. But never once did Eric hear about Vaughn swinging down from zip lines or disobeying CIA directives to save her. In fact, he was pretty sure that they had finally broken up because she’d had enough of playing second fiddle to his job. And so Weiss was left to conclude that maybe Vaughn’s concern was indeed a tribute to the woman sitting next to him. A tribute that Vaughn had tried to pay to him five years ago. Weiss suddenly dropped his head into his hands. A line of understanding which he had been unable to cross before, he could now see clearly in front of him. Vaughn was simply the way he was. Vaughn believed in honor and serving his country, but mostly he believed that this country had people worth serving. In retrospect, it seemed almost obvious that Vaughn would want to offer the people he was serving with, at least the same offer that he gave to the nameless millions that he fought for. Knowing Vaughn, he would want to give the people he respected even more. Eric almost felt like crying. Vaughn had offered him a tribute which he had forfeited before truly grasping its meaning. Eric wanted to shake his head at the irony of it all. It was only through losing Vaughn that he had come to understand him. But now this precious knowledge could do nothing to bring them back together. ~~~
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