Title: Lasting Impressions (Chapter 19 of First Impressions Revised)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine.
Spoliers: First Season
Classification: Smut
Character pairing: S/V
Summary: Sydney's first time
Feedback: I would love it, positive or negative! E-mail me at girlnorth@gmail.com

“What?” Michael asks incredulously, looking at her.

“ Michael, the road!” Sydney warns as the car veers right, crossing the center line.

Michael focuses back on the road but glances over at Sydney.

“ I said that I want you to make love to me tonight,” Sydney says quietly, looking down at her lap. Her cheeks are burning and she’s wondering how she can possibly get out of this. Why did she say anything? What must he be thinking?

“ That’s what I thought you said,” Michael replies. Sydney sheepishly looks up at him, but he certainly doesn’t look upset. In fact, he’s grinning at her. “You just caught me off guard.”

“ Sorry,” she says, smiling.

“ Syd,” Michael says, suddenly serious, “can we talk about this more when we get home?”

Sydney silently nods. She feels very confused. First he was shocked, then he seemed happy, and now he’s serious. She’s unsure of how he’s feeling, but she doesn’t want to ask him because he obviously wants to wait until they get home. She squirms in her seat, wishing again that she hadn’t said anything.

The rest of the trip passes in silence, and when they finally park behind Michael’s building, Sydney feels like she’s screwed everything up. She was too forward, she should have just let him make the first move. She feels like banging her head against a wall.

Michael takes her hand as they climb the stairs and enter his flat. They take their wet jackets and shoes off and sit on the sofa. Sydney waits with an odd mixture of anticipation and trepidation.

“ Sydney,” Michael starts. She thinks it’s a bad sign that he’s using the long form of her name. He picks her hand up from her lap and caresses the back with his thumb. “I want to be with you more than anything.”

“ But you just don’t want to be with me,” she states sadly.

“ What?! Of course I do! You thought I didn’t?” he asks.

“ Well, when you said you wanted to talk about it…”

“ Oh God Syd, I’m sorry. Please don’t doubt that. God, any man would be crazy not to want to make love to you.”

“ Then what did you want to talk about?” she asks, pleased by what he said.

“ It’s just that your first time is a big deal. And not only that, but our first time together is a big deal. I want to make sure that you’re ready, I don’t want you to feel like we have to rush this, because we don’t. We have all the time in the world.”

“ You’re so wonderful, Michael,” Sydney says, touched by his words. Thinking of Derek, she remarks “I don’t think there are a lot of guys like you. None that I’ve ever met, anyway.”

“ Well, I don’t know,” he says shaking his head, “Remember that I had already finished my teen years when I met you. I don’t know how patient I was back then. Not that I was ever like Derek. I’d still like to kick his ass.”

Sydney just smiles and shakes her head. There’s no comparing Michael to Derek. She thinks of all the times she had to fend Derek off. Every time they were alone, every time they would kiss, his hands would roam. He was constantly trying to shove his hands down the back of her pants, so she took to wearing really tight jeans when she knew they would be alone together. Thinking back, she guesses that actually added to the problem. But he just wouldn’t give up. If he hadn’t been so pushy, she might have even considered sleeping with him. No, probably not. It took Michael’s admission that he had feelings for her to admit that she’d been saving herself for him. She’s glad she did. There’s no one like Michael, and there’s no one else she would rather share this with.

“ Anyway Syd, we can wait,” he says, bringing her back to the present. His hand reaches up to touch her neck, his thumb brushing her cheek. She reaches up and stills it.

“ I don’t want to,” she says seriously. “Wait, I mean. I’m ready if you are. Are you ready?”

She sees something flicker in his eye, something he’s been holding back in himself.

“ I’m ready.”

They lean toward each other and kiss, softly first, but growing in intensity and need. She opens her mouth to invite his tongue inside, and they move closer together on the sofa.

Soon their hands are everywhere on each others’ bodies, each wanting to touch the other as much as possible. Michael begins to undo Sydney’s shirt, but she pulls back a little.

“ Can… can we do this a little slower?” she asks, trying to catch her breath.

“ Of course, I’m so sorry. Here,” he says, standing and holding his hand out for her to take. She puts her hand in his and lets him pull her up and lead her to the bedroom.

He stops beside the bed and turns to face her, bringing her hand up to his lips. He brushes a soft kiss along her knuckles, and she smiles at the romantic gesture, her cheeks dimpling.

Michael sits down on the edge of the bed, pulling her between his legs. He wraps his arms around her waist and rests his cheek against her stomach, and she runs her fingers through his hair. He pulls away, after a moment, and tilts his head back to look at her. What she sees in his eyes makes her chest tighten, and she breathes in sharply. Pure, unabashed adoration.

Sydney leans down to kiss him, and it occurs to her that Michael is letting her set the pace, yet at the same time acting as the guide she needs him to be. But before she can explore the idea further, he slides his hands down to cup her ass, sending the analytical side of her brain into hibernation.

This time when Michael reaches up to unbutton her shirt, she’s ready to let him. He undoes the bottom button and glides his hands up over the bare skin of her stomach, grazing her breasts before sliding her shirt off her shoulders and down her arms. When it hits the floor, she reaches behind her and unhooks her bra, shrugging out of it and letting it join her shirt at her feet.

“Sydney,” Michael whispers reverently. He reaches up to cup her breasts, stopping just short of touching her, waiting for her cue. They’ve been this far before, but this time it’s different, and they both know that. This time it’s leading to something more, and it makes her a little nervous and Michael a little cautious. She smiles at him and rests her hands on his shoulders. Understanding her unspoken permission, he runs his fingertips along the outsides of her breasts, then brushes his thumbs across her nipples. She clenches his shoulders, which seems to facilitate his next motion. He nuzzles her right breast with his face, and gently takes her nipple in his mouth. When she feels his tongue sweep over the hardened flesh, she sways a little, and leans more heavily on his shoulders.

Michael’s mouth leaves her breast and he stands up, bringing his lips to hers and kissing her firmly. He turns her around and nudges her onto the bed. Sydney lays back and Michael kneels on the bed beside her, pulling his shirt over his head. Sydney shivers when he lies down next to her and their bare chests make contact.

“Are you alright?” he asks tenderly, running a hand through her hair.

“I’m fine,” she says a little shakily. “I’m just a little bit nervous.”

“That’s okay, Syd, that’s natural. I just want you to know that I love you and I’m going to do everything I can to make this hurt as little as possible.”

Sydney nods, trying not to let her apprehension show.

“Hey,” he says, stroking her cheek. “If you’re not ready…”

“No,” she interrupts, “I’m ready.”

Michael leans in and kisses her.

“We’ll take it slow,” he whispers. He kisses her neck while his hand begins its slow decent down her body, stopping to caress each of her nipples before raking down her stomach and coming to rest at the top of her jeans. Sydney tries to steady her breathing as he sits up to undo her jeans and slides them down her legs. She suddenly wishes she’d worn something a little sexier than the white cotton briefs she has on, but Michael seems to approve, eyeing them appreciatively.

He moves to kneel between her legs and lifts one foot to his mouth. Sydney squirms when he places a chaste kiss on the arch of her foot, fighting the urge to laugh. But he moves on to her ankle, the feeling more sensuous than ticklish as he swirls his tongue around her talus. He slowly makes his way up her calf, and spends some time lavishing the soft skin on the inside of her knee. By the time he works his way up to her inner thigh, she finds her body filled with a different kind of tension than before. She wants nothing more than to feel his mouth on her, and she fights the urge to thrust her pelvis towards him.

Michael splays his hand on her stomach and then traces the line from her bellybutton south, over the waistband of her panties and down. This time she can’t help but buck her pelvis. He crooks his finger inside the cusp of her panties and pulls them down. When he resumes his place in the v of her legs, she’s glad he didn’t decide to make another slow ascent from her feet. As much as she wants to take things slow, that would have just been torturous.

Michael lowers his mouth to her upper thigh, making her squirm in anticipation. When he finally reaches the spot where she wants him to be, her hips buck once again, and he takes the opportunity to slide his hands under her and cup her bottom. He looks up at her while he parts her lips and glides his tongue between them, slowly like licking an ice cream cone. Sydney’s eyes close and she moans involuntarily. Michael quickens his pace, and Sydney’s body tightens. She feels a little lightheaded as her breathing becomes more labored, and as his tongue strokes harder and faster, she finds herself clutching the sheets beside her and holding her breath. Finally, like a jolt of electricity between her legs, she peaks and is able to breathe again. She looks down at Michael with wonder, and smiles at the unmistakable look of pride on his face.

Michael makes his way up to lay beside her, leaning on his elbow and caressing her stomach.

“Wow,” she says, turning toward him and burying her face in his neck. “That was… amazing.”

She feels as much as hears the small chuckle he lets out in response.

Sydney lies in Michael’s arms, enjoying the result of her first orgasm. Her body feels completely relaxed, and she lets out a long sigh.

“Syd,” Michael says, “we don’t have to do anything else tonight.”

Sydney pulls away from him to look him in the eye.

“No, Michael. I want to.” Though her voice is a little shaky, she hopes her expression conveys that she means it.

“Okay,” he says, leaning in to kiss her. Sydney is taken aback by the distinct taste of herself in his mouth, but she doesn’t break the kiss. Michael does a minute later as he rolls on his back to undo his jeans. He lifts his hips to slide them down, taking his boxers with them, and Sydney sees his penis for the first time. They had fooled around a bit before, but they had never gotten anywhere near this far. It’s obviously not the first time she’s seen a man’s penis, she’s seen them in pictures and the odd movie, but it’s definitely the first time she’s seen one up close and personal. As he rolls back toward her, she shyly reaches out toward him. Michael sees her hesitation and takes her hand in his, guiding her to touch it. It’s hot and smooth and stiff, and Michael groans as she wraps her hand around it, his hand still over hers.

He kisses her furtively, the control he’s been maintaining slipping just the tiniest bit, and Sydney enjoys the effect she’s having on him. Michael removes his hand from hers and she thrusts her hips as she feels it settle between her legs. He stops kissing her to lean up on one elbow and looks into her eyes as he slides a finger inside her, his expression one of concern mixed with desire. She initially tightens around his finger, but relaxes and enjoys the sensation of him sliding it in and out. She tenses again when he adds another finger, and again relaxes as she grows accustomed to the sensation. She knows he’s preparing her, and although the thought still makes her nervous, it also excites her. She tightens her grasp on his penis and pumps her hand a bit, causing Michael to thrust into it. She smiles, thrilled once again that she can cause that kind of reaction in him.

Michael’s hand leaves her, and he rolls away towards his nightstand. He takes a little foil package from the drawer, and tears it open. As he rolls the condom down over his penis, Sydney tries to steady her breathing. This is it.

Michael settles himself in between her legs, and she squirms as she feels the weight of his penis resting against her.

“Are you ready?” he asks gently.

She nods, not trusting her voice. Michael shifts, using his hand to guide himself to her entrance. She tries not to clench as she feels the tip of his penis sliding inside, but it’s difficult. Michael stops, letting her adjust slowly. When she nods, he buries himself a little deeper. She tears up at the stinging she feels between her legs, and Michael looks concerned.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

“Yeah,” she says, strained. “Just… just keep going.” Michael nods and in one stroke, his pelvis meets hers and he is completely within her. He doesn’t move for what seems like a long time, and when he does, he moves slowly. The acute pain has decreased, replaced by a consistent throbbing. It hurts, but it’s not exactly unpleasant either. And the realization that she’s making love with Michael elicits a new kind of excitement.

Michael begins to move a little faster now, never breaking eye contact with her, watching, making sure she’s okay. She lifts her head to kiss him, and he thrusts his tongue into her mouth. She knows he’s holding back, afraid of hurting her, and she doesn’t want him to worry. She ends the kiss and moves her mouth to his ear.

“Come for me, Michael,” she whispers. Michael moans, and his pace quickens, still restrained but more frantic than before. She wraps her legs around his thighs and cups his bottom, bringing him over the edge.

“Love you, love you, love you…” he mumbles against her neck. He collapses on top of her, and she welcomes his weight, but he doesn’t stay for long. He pulls out of her slowly, holding onto the condom to stop it from slipping off.

“Are you alright?” he asks. She nods at him, smiling, and he grins back at her. He discards the condom and hands her a towel to clean up a little.

“Oh Michael,” she says, looking down between her legs with dismay. “There’s blood on your sheets.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he says, leaning over to kiss her. This kiss is as slow and sensual as the last was fast and furtive. When it ends, they snuggle together, Sydney’s body heavy with exhaustion.

“Shouldn’t we change the sheets?” she asks.

“In a minute,” he says. “Right now I just want to hold you.”

They lay together for awhile before Michael gets up and leaves the room. She hears water running in the bathroom, and looks at him curiously when he comes back into the bedroom.

“I thought that a bath might… help. Uh, feel good.”

She nods and sits up, indeed feeling a little tender. She makes her way to the bathroom and sinks into the water, the heat soothing the ache between her legs. Michael sits on the floor next to the tub with his arm dangling in the water, tracing small circles on her stomach. She smiles lazily at him, her eyelids heavy.

“You relax,” he says, standing up. “I’m going to change the sheets.”

Sydney stays in the tub until the water begins to cool, and then she wraps a towel around her and walks back to the bedroom. Michael is under the covers, watching her. She crawls in and turns her back to him, pulling his body close to hers so that they lay in a spooning position.

“ Are you okay?” he asks, stroking her arm.

“ Um hmm,” she says to the affirmative, turning her head to kiss him. “I’m perfect.”

“ Yes, you are,” Michael agrees.

“ That’s not what I meant,” she says, playfully swatting his arm. She turns around to face him and kisses him.

“ I love you, Michael,” she says when they part.

“ I love you too. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

“ Michael,” she says, drawing a pattern on his chest, “what are we going to do when the summer is over?”

“ I don’t know,” he says seriously.

“ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring you down. I shouldn’t have brought this up now.”

“ No, it’s okay. I’ve been thinking about it too. I was thinking that I could go home to L.A. for Christmas, and maybe you could come back over during your reading week. You could tell your dad you met a friend over here and you want to visit her.”

“ That sounds good,” Sydney says, smiling, “but I’m still going to really miss you.”

“ I’ll miss you too. But we’re really good at writing letters.”

Sydney smiles and snuggles in close to his neck. She feels very tired and starts to doze off, trying not to worry about the end of the summer. It’s a long way off and they’ll be able to spend a lot of time together before then. Right now she’s laying in Michael’s arms, knowing that he loves her and that she loves him, and nothing is better than that.

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